Meditation 101: Going Solo
“In regards to meditating, how does one being doing it solo?”
I love this question so much. Like most Westerners, I began meditating with the aid of guided audio meditations. Common apps people use are: Calm, Headspace, and Insight Timer.
Pro's of Guided Audio: Available anytime to help you stay focused. Variety of teachers, styles, lengths of meditations.
Con's: You're still reliant on your phone or other technology. You may not learn what to do when you're ready to go solo. You may become bored with the same guidance. You don't look as cool on Instagram.
If you're completely new to a meditation practice, I would start with some form of guided audio (there are plenty of options available for free on youtube and Spotify) BUT set a goal for yourself for when you'd like to being to wean off that training wheel (3 months for example).
Goin’ solo “for the gram.”
Duration of Sessions
"Short periods, many times." 5 minutes a day is significantly better than 60 minutes once a week. As you become more skillful–there is no good or bad in meditation, only more or less skillful–you will feel when 5 minutes is no longer enough and can slowly extend the time.
When To Meditate
You'll have to play with this a bit to find a time of day that feels best for your. Try to stick with a time for at least a week to gauge whether it's the time that's off/on or you that day.
AM: you're fresh, there isn't an abundance of chaos and drama yet, it's easier to focus, and generally the city is quieter.
PM is relaxing and a nice break to check in and reset. I love the afternoons because it helps me get over the hump of the day and functions essentially like an afternoon rest period.
Where to Meditate
Find a spot in your home that feels calm and contemplative. Bedrooms generally have that calm vibe. Kitchens, not so much. Try to meditate in the same place and the same time every day. That consistency sets a precedent (21 days to form a habit). It also charges the space with that calm, meditative energy that actually helps you when you come back to it. Every time you meditate in the same place the energy is there to help you, and in a feedback loop you put more energy back in. It's beautiful.
How to Meditate
This is the big question, right? It's not a nap or drooling cross-legged in the corner. Meditation is an active process. There is definite technique for honing focus and concentration. First, posture is super important: "tense body, tense mind; relaxed body, relaxed mind." The super broad strokes are: an upright and noble posture, head balanced on top, eyes closed, hands in your lap, feet planted on the ground if you're sitting in a chair.
Beyond being posture-critical, breathwork guides the mindful gaze. The entire practice consists of watching sensations that arise with and of the breath, as well as noticing how our mind respond to stillness. Thoughts arise and we let them go. If we get distracted, we bring our attention back to the breath as soon as we catch ourselves. This may happen 100x, 1000x, or 100,000,000x. Every day and every person is different. The goal is to observe without judgment or expectation.
Beginner Exercises (5 min daily)
"Box Breath": breathe in for 4 counts, hold your breath 4 counts, exhale 4 counts, and pause 4 counts, then repeat that cycle. Notice how you feel (energy levels and other sensations) inhaling versus exhaling.
"Body Scan": working systematically from the top of your head to your toes (or vice-versa) scan for tension in the body as you inhale while inviting deeper relaxation and release of tension with each exhale. Common tension zones are around the eyes, the jaw, neck/shoulders, and hips.
"Open Awareness": here there is no single object holding your focus. Be open and present with any and all sensations that arise. Breath, smells, sounds, sights, feelings, temperature, thoughts, memories are all fair game.
However you explore your "solo" beginning sessions, try to remember that the benefits reveal themselves with consistency and often "away from the cushion." Be gentle with yourself. Try, try again. More information or private lessons visit: www.zenwithben.me.