The “Blonde Joke” is on us!
Last night I was teaching my weekly meditation class in a limited series on Insight Meditation. One of the topics we've been working with is how to deal with mental distractions in a meditation session. There are certain "maneuvers" one can employ when your mind gets restless or full of a garbage monologue. One of those maneuvers is a form of "anchoring," such as counting or labeling. Personally, I love a simple reminder to "let go." Whether it's physical tension, an emotional upset, or an ego-induced fantasy of sorts, I tell myself to just "let go." Stay with the breath. There's genius in that simplicity. Along those lines, last night we touched on labeling the breath cycle with a simple phrase of "breathing in...breathing out." This type of labeling does a wonderful job of helping to anchor you to the present moment. "Breathing in... breathing out..." This phrase triggered a memory from my childhood, in the form of the stereotypical blonde joke and I realized in that moment there is a hidden wisdom for which "the blonde" never received credit.
Here's how the joke goes*:
A blonde walks into a salon...
She asks the hairdresser for a trim. The hairdresser asks the blonde to take a seat but tells her she needs to remove her headphones.
The Blonde insists she can't remove them and the hairdresser will have to do the best job she can.
After a while the hairdresser gets frustrated and says, "Sorry, ma'am, but I really need you to remove your headphones in order for me to do a proper job".
The blonde reluctantly agrees but insists the hairdresser will need to hurry.
A couple of minutes pass as the hairdresser is snipping away, when suddenly the blonde drops to the floor, dead. After checking for a pulse and determining she is in fact dead, the shocked hairdresser curiously slips the headphones on and hears....
"Breathe in.... Breathe out.... Breathe in.... Breathe out..."
*I remember this joke a little differently. I thought the blonde was walking on the beach when the batteries in her walkman died and she dropped dead. When the detectives on the case put fresh batteries in they discovered what happened. In any case, who would have a guessed a blonde joke from my childhood would resurface as a wise anecdote in a meditation class 25 years later?
For the record, I haven't heard a "dumb blonde" joke in ages and I think that's a cool reflection of growth in our society. OR maybe I've just honed the sangha around me to a healthier place where those types of jokes don't exist. In any case, as I struggled to remember the joke for the class, it was the first time I found myself saying something to the effect of, "Do you know this joke? Maybe you're all too young..." In their defense I haven't used the term "walkman" in about 15 years. "Once upon a time there used to be these things called cassette tapes..."
What I find amazing about this joke now is the hidden wisdom focusing on the breath as a metaphor for life. Yes, in a literal way, we all know we'd die without the breath. But how crazy is it that 25 years later, from the same culture that condemned a blonde for the reminder to focus on her breath, here we are at the height of yoga, meditation, and holistic wellness emphasizing the need for that connection?! "Wanna feel better? In control? Calm and grounded? Try this! Breathe in...breathe out..." It turns out, that "dumb blonde" had it right from the beginning. The joke is actually on us.
Did you have a walkman? What was your favorite cassette?? I remember having a Weird Al tape that got pretty worn down. My favorite cassettes were book on tape narrations for stories like Tolkien's "The Hobbit," Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends," and a potpourri of short stories by Maurice Sendak ("Where the Wild Things Are").
Shout-out to my dear friend, Kalla, for indulging me and documenting her "Legally Blonde" persona. Kalla is a mentor, writer, truth seeker, and recovered attorney. For more on her ascension journey, be sure to follow her on Instagram: @rekallabrate.